Looking back

I dont know how much of this blog will actually be about Ecuador. Im in a reflective mood,and I wanted to share.

Actually, to be perfectly honest, this is totally inspired by my friend Patrick. (Thanks Patrick!) I just read his blog about his visit back to El Salvador where we studied together at la Casa de Solidaridad during the spring of our junior years. Yesterday was the 20 year anniversary of the assassination of the six Jesuits and their two friends at the UCA in El Salvador. Tonight, all of the Rostro volunteers are sharing a spirituality night to remember them, and last night as second year volunteers we honored them in prayer. This past week in El Salvador, Casa alumns got together for a conference to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of the program, and also to remember the Jesuits on this anniversary. And I believe that this weekend thousands will be gathering in Georgia for the SOA vigil . . . something that I have had the privilege to do twice during my time at BC.

Anyway, this time of the year tends to get me thinking . . . more specifically, thinking about where I come from, where I have been, and where I am now. Of course, I am not just reflecting on the wheres of my life - it is the who I was with that stands out. In my life as a volunteer, trying to live in Ecuador, I am frequently asking myself, "Amy, how the heck did you get here?" It is a really blessed journey that I get to look back on.

Of course there is my family - even though they dont always understand what the heck I am doing or talking about, they have given me so much in this crazy life I am living. My friends from high school, who also saw me through Middle and Elementary school. The people I grew up with and who know where I come from.

Then I get to BC . . . the Hardy 2nd girls - first friends in college and amazing roommates through the years. Rubenstein D65: my sanity through senior year - honestly I dont think I need to say more about you ladies. My communities through the Appalachia volunteers: Grundy, Rural Retreat, and New Orleans. My community that carried me through Belize sophomore year, who taught me about trust and love --- those who continue to carry me even today. The Campus School staff, students, volunteers - all friends. You have all taught me so much about patience, hard work, dedication, and how to really laugh. With all of you I have also learned about loss, and through that lesson, seen such strength. My senior year Arrupe communities - the group I brought to Ecuador, and the group of fellow leaders who taught me how to lead with grace.

Dare I even begin with El Salvador and Casa? I dont know if I could do justice to the lessons I learned there in a blog. I dont want to cheapen that experience or those relationships with my less than poetic musings. El Salvador broke my heart open, and you all helped me put the pieces back together. When my world collapsed around me, you helped me sort through the rubble and find myself again. You still to this day are willing to do that for me.

And then my Rostro community and neighbors in Duran. All of you showed me who God is. You taught me how to give myself away so I could be a whole person. Because of all of you I know how to love without fear and you give me the strength to do so.


All of you know my heart in different ways. You are all a part of who I am and the reason that I am here. You are amazing blessings in my life. Some of you I get to see every day; I talk to some of you on a decently regular basis; and I havent seen or spoken to many of you in a really long time. We are spread all over the world, doing a million different things, but we have a piece of each other wherever we are. I miss so many of you, and as happy as I am here, I often wish that we werent so far apart. Goodbyes will always be hard, but I am reminded of what my father told me at my high school graduation - I was a wreck thinking about all of the goodbyes that were coming at the start of college, and he said to me, "Amy, this is called growing up." I think life is a series of¨"hellos", "goodbyes", and the frequent "see you laters." I honestly get overwhelmed thinking about how many breathtaking people have come into my life. And its even more astounding to think that every time someone passes through, someone new and equally amazing is entering.

So this entry is for all of you. I dont know how many of you read this, but I at least want to put this out into the universe. Thank you. I dont say it enough. Thank you for everything that you have given me. Thank you for the ways that you have touched my life, for the memories you have left with me, and for the love that you continue to show me. I could not be here without you.

May God shine in your lives.